Why do we get Depressed and How can we Feel Better?

Fleur Dash • 11 December 2019

Changing our patterns

Depression originates from the primitive part of our brain we know as the “fight, flight and freeze” part. This area hasn't evolved much since our days of living in caves and is there for our protection. When the cave man or woman looked out and saw snow, ice and danger they would crawl back inside, pull their rug over their head and go back to sleep until the crisis had passed. This is also how we can feel now when we feel under threat, like it is safer to hide away and go back to sleep.


Depression can make us feel sluggish, unmotivated, exhausted and is all encompassing. Our brains can encourage us to sleep more, often all day, but never feel rested creating a vicious circle. This is because the dream sleep we have is very mentally draining. REM sleep is when our conscious and subconscious come together to sort and process our thoughts. It is how we daily empty with our stress buckets and stay on top of things. Unfortunately, too much of it will leave us feeling worse and in a deep hole of despair. When we feel under threat in our lives, we are encouraged to think negatively. This is a way of protecting ourselves against potential dangers. Seeing as our primitive brain doesn't know the difference between reality and imaginary, if we think and speak negatively, our brains think that is the actual reality, and will step in to help us using depression, anxiety and anger. Bless it! Thank you brain!

We can change our thought and sleep patterns using gentle trance and solution focused psychotherapy techniques to help us concentrate on how we want our lives to be, not how we don’t want them to be. Concentrating on the positive side of our lives allows a constant flow of happy hormones that we need to be able to cope with life. Getting away from the vicious circle created by the primitive brain allows the intellectual brain to take control and make little steps towards our chosen realities.

by Fleur Dash 3 December 2025
As the holiday season approaches, many of us feel a mix of excitement and…pressure. Between preparing gatherings, managing family expectations, finding the “right” gifts, and juggling everyday responsibilities, the weeks leading up to Christmas can easily become overwhelming. But it doesn’t have to be this way. With intention, compassion, and a focus on gratitude, you can transform this season from stressful to meaningful. Below are simple, grounding ways to overcome pre-Christmas stress—while nurturing your well-being and reconnecting with what truly matters. 1. Slow Down—On Purpose The busiest weeks of the year often demand our full attention, but it’s also when we most need to pause. Even a few minutes of intentional slowing down can calm your mind and reset your nervous system. Try: A 5-minute breathing exercise in the morning A short walk without your phone A quiet cup of tea with no multitasking These small moments of stillness create space for clarity and kindness—toward yourself and others. 2. Redefine What “Enough” Means Holiday stress often comes from unrealistic expectations: the perfect meal, perfectly wrapped gifts, perfectly decorated homes. But perfection is not what people remember—connection is. Ask yourself: What truly matters to me this season? What can I simplify? Where can I give myself permission to do less? Choosing “good enough” over “perfect” is an act of self-care. 3. Center Your Days Around Gratitude Gratitude shifts your attention from what’s missing or overwhelming to what is steady, supportive, and meaningful. Try starting (or ending) each day with three simple gratitude prompts: Something about today that made me smile A person I appreciate Something about myself I’m grateful for This practice softens stress and strengthens your sense of abundance, even during hectic times. 4. Protect Your Energy You don’t need to attend every event or fulfill every request. You’re allowed to say no with love. Protecting your energy makes space for the moments that matter most. Think of your energy as a candle—burn it too quickly, and you dim before Christmas even arrives. Tend to it gently. Let it shine steadily. 5. Create a Well-Being Ritual Rituals ground us. Choose a small, soothing habit that you repeat daily or weekly throughout the season: Lighting a candle in the evening Listening to calming music Journaling for five minutes Decluttering one small area Practicing a short gratitude meditation A ritual gives your mind something steady to come back to in moments of overwhelm. 6. Embrace Imperfect Joy Holiday magic isn’t found in flawless decor or a perfectly orchestrated schedule. It’s in the imperfect, real moments—laughing with others, sharing a simple meal, watching old movies, exchanging small acts of kindness. Let yourself enjoy the season as it unfolds, not as you planned it. 7. Give Yourself the Gift of Compassion You may not get everything done. You may forget something. You may have a messy kitchen or a chaotic calendar. That’s okay. Speak to yourself the way you would to a friend who feels stressed: “You’re doing your best. You’re allowed to rest. You are enough.” Compassion is one of the most powerful tools for well-being. 8. Let Gratitude Guide Your Celebrations When you approach the season with gratitude—gratitude for the people you love, for the experiences you share, for the strength you’ve shown this year—everything feels lighter. Gratitude softens stress. It reframes expectations. It connects you to the heart of the holidays. Let it be the thread that guides your celebrations this year. Pre-Christmas stress is common, but it doesn’t have to define your season. By slowing down, practicing gratitude, and nurturing your well-being, you can create a holiday experience that feels peaceful, grounded, and genuinely joyful. You deserve a season filled not with pressure, but with presence.
by Fleur Dash 30 October 2025
When you’re met with criticism or judgment, it can be deeply challenging not to take it personally. Words can carry energy, and when that energy feels heavy or cutting, it’s natural to want to defend yourself, explain, or internalise the sting. But it helps to remember that not every opinion or reaction deserves a place within you. Not everything that comes your way is meant for you to hold. Some feedback can be useful—it can help you see blind spots, strengthen your character, or guide your personal growth. Constructive insight, even when uncomfortable, often comes from a place of care or truth. But other comments may be rooted in someone else’s pain, insecurity, or misunderstanding. When people speak from their own unhealed places, their words often reflect more about where they are than who you are. In those moments, I like to visualise a soft, protective bubble surrounding me. It’s light and gentle, not a wall of resistance, but a boundary of awareness. Through this bubble, I allow in anything that feels aligned, supportive, or constructive—lessons that can help me grow. But anything that feels unkind, personal, or unnecessary simply bounces back, dissolving before it can touch me. This isn’t about ignoring others or pretending their words don’t matter; it’s about choosing what deserves space in your heart and what does not. You always have that choice—the choice to absorb what serves you and release what doesn’t. Protecting your peace doesn’t mean closing yourself off from the world; it means staying open with discernment. It’s learning to listen without losing yourself. It’s giving yourself permission to stay soft, even in a world that can sometimes feel sharp. When you honor that boundary, you begin to move through life with more calm and confidence. You trust your inner compass more than the noise around you. And over time, you’ll find that protecting your peace isn’t an act of self-defense—it’s an act of deep self-respect.
by Fleur Dash 13 August 2025
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